What do you think is the perfect age? Why?ġ2.
What would you like to come back as in your next life?ġ0. What was it like in the town where you grew up?Ĩ. Tell me about one of your favorite relatives.ħ. What one thing would you really like to own? Why?Ħ. If you could replay any moment in your life, what would it be?ĥ. What’s your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?Ĥ. Tell me about the best vacation you’ve ever taken.ģ. What do you think of the movie/restaurant/party?Ģ. So why is it so hard in the moment to dare to choose what is essential over what is non-essential?ġ. But many in his shoes would have accepted the friend’s invitation for fear of seeming rude or ungrateful, or passing up a rare opportunity to dine with an old friend. Seen with some perspective, his decision seems obvious. Not only did he routinely teach Essentialist principles – like “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing” – to important leaders and heads of state around the world, he lived them.6 And in this moment of living them with his daughter he made a memory that literally outlasted his lifetime. Covey, one of the most respected and widely read business thinkers of his generation, was an Essentialist. In virtually every instance, clarity about what is essential fuels us with the strength to say no to the non-essentials. With Stephen it was the clarity of his vision for the evening with his loving daughter. With Rosa it was her deep moral clarity that gave her unusual courage of conviction. On the other hand, when we have strong internal clarity it is almost as if we have a force field protecting us from the non-essentials coming at us from all directions. His simple decision “Bonded him to me forever because I knew what mattered most to him was me!” she said.5 One simple answer is we are unclear about what is essential. So it was with deep emotion she recalled that evening in San Francisco. Covey (author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) who had passed away only weeks before Cynthia told me this story. As it happens, Cynthia’s father was the management thinker Stephen R. Cynthia and I have a special date planned, don’t we?” He winked at Cynthia and grabbed her hand and they ran out of the door and continued with what was an unforgettable night in San Francisco. But then her father continued: “But not tonight. Plus, she hated seafood and she could just imagine how bored she would be listening to the adults talk all night. Her daydreams of tram rides and ice cream sundaes evaporated in an instant. Dinner at the wharf sounds great!” Cynthia was crestfallen.
We want to invite you, and of course Cynthia, to get a spectacular seafood dinner down at the Wharf!” Cynthia’s father responded: “Bob, it’s so great to see you. When Lois and I heard about it we thought it would be perfect. His friend said, in effect: “I am so glad you are doing some work with our company now. It had been years since they had seen each other, and Cynthia watched as they embraced enthusiastically. This was all going according to plan until, as her father was leaving the convention centre, he ran into an old college friend and business associate. The anticipation was part of the whole experience.
They discussed the details over and over again before they left. Then they would grab a taxi back to the hotel, jump in the pool for a quick swim (her dad was famous for sneaking in when the pool was closed), order a hot fudge sundae from room service, and watch the late, late show. They would catch a tram to Chinatown, eat Chinese food (their favourite), shop for a souvenir, see the sights for a while and then “catch a flick” as her dad liked to say. They had a whole itinerary planned down to the minute: she would attend the last hour of his presentation, and then meet him at the back of the room at about four-thirty and leave quickly before everyone tried to talk to him. Twelve-year-old Cynthia and her father had been planning the “date” for months. A woman named Cynthia once told me a story about the time her father had made plans to take her on a night out in San Francisco.
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